All I ever wanted was to feel.

Love, hate, joy, sadness.

To look someone in their eyes

And say “I love you”

Without worrying about it.

Always the guy they could count on

“He’s smart”, they said, “He’s a genius”

Always asking “what are you reading?”

But never “how are you feeling?”

Over and over.

Calling “hey, can you help?” or

“Can you fix this?” but never

“Hey, let’s go out have some fun”

“Come here and join us”

I never really bothered, to be fair.

What you don’t know, you can’t feel

But is that true? Really?

That’s my burden, really.

I know too much.